The Potato Chronicles

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5. Write your first Adventure Log post

The adventure log is where you list the sessions and adventures your party has been on, but for now, we suggest doing a very light “story so far” post. Just give a brief overview of what the party has done up to this point. After each future session, create a new post detailing that night’s adventures.

One final tip: Don’t stress about making your Obsidian Portal campaign look perfect. Instead, just make it work for you and your group. If everyone is having fun, then you’re using Obsidian Portal exactly as it was designed, even if your adventure log isn’t always up to date or your characters don’t all have portrait pictures.

That’s it! The rest is up to your and your players.

A Brutal Beginning
A Potatoey Prologue
  • Stole precious horse drawings, gold, and book from Angus
  • Potato Baron looking for return on potato shipments
  • Characters head to Grimmenheim for answers
  • Checked out town, scammed more money, set fires.
  • Met with mayor for answers
  • Lead into basement, fell in trap, searched cellar, found hidden passage leading to underground stream
  • Merchants were found dead, in room at end of stream
  • Ambushed by, apparently, overpowered thugs.
  • Knocked out, chained up, and awaiting whatever comes next — not by choice.

(I will expand on the point form when I have a chance. This is just so I don’t forget. Let me know if I need to add anything.)

Dire Straits
Sewer Shindig and the Crazy Man

Last Time on the Potato Chronicles:

  • Our characters had foolishly stumbled upon obviously overpowered thugs, leaving themselves in chains.

And now…

With the thugs gone, transformations take place, leaving the chains as easily as they entered them.
Coming upon the guard of the room, a half-dumb half-ogre cannot do much before his throat is ripped out ever so eloquently, by Althaea.

And who happens upon them from above the sewers? Isabeau, of course. Having had to much…well, a little too much of everything the night before. She happens upon our characters in the most convenient of ways — in wolf form.

Discussions take place, and they happen to find out about their similarities; particularly in regards to the symbol they have both come across before. They find out that their best source for more information is a half-elf, full crazy, outside of town, going by the name of Eleglir.

Happening upon his residence, Min traverses the premises, and its illusory tricks, presenting its front on all sides.

Unfortunately for them, the full crazy Eleglir has been watching cross-legged this whole time. “He’s not home,” he answers, though no question was asked. He speaks in riddles at best, and at worst, says nothing worth anything. But, he does let some details slip. The symbol is of House Lanaris — while not a real house, is a faction of considerable rank and power, sometimes going by The Crescent.

“Head to the Eastwood, flailing all the while” he recommends.

The Eastwood doesn’t turn up much more than large spiders and more questions. Spiders with bands indicating some connection to The Crescent, and a place to sleep for the night.

Isabeau tears the spiders apart, while Min thinks it natural to defecate their corpses crudely, with a warm dose of urine.

They prepare for rest, and another day of fun.

Temple Tales
A Dragon Shits on a Temple

If a dragonborn shits on a temple, does everyone smell it? An age-old question with no answer…

Our characters meet up with a bard, by the unlikely name of Dwigger. There must be something about him, because he eventually tags along.

Minn, per usual self, takes a shit on the temple steps — perhaps a gift to some faiths? But, more than likely, perhaps not.

Pastor Petyr is met in the temple, and found out to be in cahoots with whomever is contaminating the water and who knows what other kinds of shenanigans. Ulmus and Company make swift work of him after finding out about some goblins in a cave up north that seem to be involved.

Supplies will arrive in three days

A key detail that lingers in the minds of the party.

Next stop, to the north.

The Source of Contamination
A Rock Falls, Althaea Dies

Ulmus & Company, including the late Althaea, arrive at the caves, met by a swath of goblins (a group of goblins is, of course, called a swath) attacking from their cave. Some pot shots are taken from the hills by the river out front, but Althaea makes quick work of the goblins, in her wolf form, but succumbing to the falling cave debris, dying a most horrible death.

Our characters take a night to “grieve,” recovering what damage they received from this fight.

Gnoll Surprise
On without Althaea, except in hat form

Into the cave, it opens up into a large cavern with many shadowy crevices. Our characters make a quick search of the room, finding a chest. Unfortunately for Minn, and all those around, the area surrounding the chest is trapped, making a thunderous attack on them, but worse, it alerts the gnolls and goblins that were seemingly waiting further in the caves.

The gnolls are brutal, but with Minn’s quickness, she speeds up the battle; while Ulmus cages the brutes, quite literally buying throwing the cage at them, allowing Hathyra to freeze them to the cages, which are now on the ground, ultimately incapacitating these brutes.

Some analysis of this structure determines that this is not the ground level, and Ulmus & Company are certain of such as they break through to a room, with the double doors; which, as everyone knows, always lead to something good.

What lies beyond these doors, and around this room?

Wight Through the Doors
Draining Victims

Beyond the double doors reveals a long corridor, with three doors, that contain a bed in each; one bloody, one empty, and one with someone still in it, already drained of their life.

Ulmus heads to the next set of double doors at the end of the corridor, and proceeds to stare at them for what seems to be minutes, eventually alerted of something coming out. Ulmus heads to an ambush point down the hall, and casts fire behind this creature, which turns out to be a wight. Between this fire, and Minn’s fire on the other side, this creature is quickly done away with.

Our characters head to the end of the corridor, head in, and find plans laid out on the table, with stairs leading out of this place. These plans seem to indicate an attack on the hermin they had met previously, at the west side of the Eastwood.

They hit the top of the stairs, and see shadowy figures in the forest, and proceed to follow.

Abomination Bear

Quick Notes:

  • Fight aberant bear creature in forest
  • Meet up with old, pantless man, hanging in tree.
  • Go back to his cabin via secret underground tunnel
  • Find out about thieves’ guild for more information on The Crescent.
  • Given a variety of magical items

If someone could write this one up in their own perspective, please do! Inspiration will also be given!

Note messily scribbled at the side from Isabeau:

Found the log. Finally. This is what I get for accepting “herbs” from Dragonkin monks…

Came out with awesome weapon – which am still figuring out due to inability to recall precisely what it does (on account of aforementioned “herbs”).

Note to self: If ever I meet that hermit again, do apologize for being an utter git and thank him for reward of epic weapon.

Second note to self (though equally relevant): … Stop being paranoid git.

Cocoa and Crocs and Crooks*, oh my!
*Don't call a thief a crook to their face, only one of the two have honour.

Here’s the summary bit. I intended to submit a “story-esque” retelling of the session & am 2/3rds through what I intended to complete, but because of some other obligations I will probably not finish that aspect until post-tomorrow-session.

Core info below… for now //evil grin//

  • Jagron the Hermit gives Ulmus a Staff of Python, henceforth known as Bubble Bubble;
  • Everyone imbibes a cocoa drink and is given two sealed food rations apiece… Isabeau’s stomach sadly does not get on well with the warm beverage;
  • Isabeau receives an unassuming stick that functions as a magical compass (henceforth “Compass Stick”);
  • Ulmus (& Company) decides that the group should head to Athrak in order to prevent the planned poisoning – Jagon’s directions lead the troupe through swamp, forest and field in order to reach their destination;
  • Ulmus (& Company) encounter a croc. Ulmus, blinded by the newfound power a fifteen-foot magical snake/staff imbues, thinks it wise to whip a food ration at the animal. Protip: don’t do that;
  • After lighting the crocodile up like it were Hintermas, playing darts with its eyeball and shoving a Flame Sphere in its mouth… Min swoops in and carves that bad boy up like it was Ye Olde Hide House and Dwigger merges its face into one piece with his hammer. Ulmus restores Bubble Bubble to staff form, gets his food ration back with a bit of croc spit, and harvests a strip of skin for future leatherworking. Everyone else either takes some teeth or fists about in the reptile’s entrails (of note was a reptilian ‘hand’ that was partially digested);
  • Troupe continues on through the woods. They approach a summit and view a clearcut (logged) area with a town in the centre. Town is under marshall law and extremely racist against non-humans.
  • Thanks to being human (Isabeau), using a minor illusion (Ulmus + Bubble Bubble) or having a disguise on hand (Min), some of the group are able to enter the town, no strings attached. Those of us who aren’t as lucky either pay a fee (Dwigger) or barter pipeweed (Hathyra) to get through the gates. Famor, the guard who let everyone through expects to meet Hathyra at The Slaughtered Dwarf tavern to collect his gate fee;
  • The group observe that no expression of any other religion or belief aside from the Golden Sun sigil is permitted – the guards all wear this sigil;
  • Ulmus seeks out a leatherworker to contract a saddle for Bubble Bubble. He also locates someone who tells him more about the Elvish vase (Dark Elf ceremonial vase, Drow writing, dark magic, hearts of enemies placed within to activate the spell… finding this so close to the surface = bad. To know more requires travelling to the Underdark);
  • The rest of the group (Dwigger, Min, Isabeau, Hathyra) travel to the tavern to gain more information/seek out thieves’ guild intel/wait for Famor;
  • Dwigger solicits information from the Dwarven barkeep, who lets slip that three black-cloaked figures come to the tavern each night. Said figures arrive shortly after;
  • Dwigger takes centre stage and exercises his bardly ways while Isabeau, Min and Hathyra seat themselves at a table close to the cloaked figures. Min overhears some thief jargon & believes that the figures are to meet in an area of town at dusk the next day. Also something about a full moon…
  • The three ladies attempt a setup; Min takes some pipeweed and walks behind the cloaked figures’ table. She gets caught trying to plant the ‘weed in one of the figures’ robes, and Isabeau tries [unsuccessfully] to convince the triad that Min is a bumbling servant;
  • Dwigger steps in and uses his charisma to convince the three that this was a drop that got messed up. The figures seem to accept the explanation and leave the tavern.
  • Ulmus arrives and the group decides to exchange information over some pints.

(Where’s Famor?)

"Snakes and Ladders: A tale of how BubbleBubble lost his virginity"
"More accurately that time we shopped and wound up at a blood ritual"

Semi-point form because 1) I’m insufferably lazy and 2) I’m only halfway through an attempt to put this in story form – once done, will update and add below this!

  • Party spends morning in The Slaughtered Dwarf determining what to do until dusk that day
  • Ulmus – knowing his custom saddle will now be complete – SAUNTERS off on his own, but not before swiping a few sausages for BubbleBubble from the tavern’s counter on the way out
  • While party remains at tavern, Ulmus has altercation with a rather large, intimidating fellow who demands 50 gold for passage through the alleyway. Ulmus attempts to “dick flick” the brute with his finger, finds said finger suddenly clenched between the thug’s thunderous thighs instead… and proceeds to burn the bastard until released
  • Ulmus nonchalantly continues on his way once thug runs screaming in agony
  • After he returns with his saddle to the tavern, this is when the rest of the party decides they, too, want to get their “shop on”. All proceed to purchase numerous items. Most noteworthy is Ulmus’ deranged idea to purchase a ladder he intends to store within BubbleBubble.
  • Upon finishing up their purchases, party is harassed by an irate and most assuredly insane woman outside of the shopping district, various felines and trinkets thrown their way in addition to various offensive obscenities. The items appear to have little to no significance or use but are kept all the same. They include:
    – Dwigger: a base whistle (which he decides to be used from here on out as the party’s regroup signal)
    – Isabeau: a pyramid of sticky and black incense. It smells simply terrible.
    – Min: a small packet filled with pink dust
    – Hathyra: a single caltrop made of bone
    – Ulmus: a rabbit’s foot
  • During some manner of disagreement between Isabeau and Ulmus (the noble woman usually in a state of exasperation at the Gnome’s hi-jinks), Isabeau successfully “g’violates the g’nome” with the indestructible penis (also known as Water Wiggly). BubbleBubble, upset at the grievous assaulting of his master, is given a smooch by Isabeau as penance

*Dusk finally approaches and the party makes their way through the slums and out towards [insert whatever the description actually was of this area as, frankly, this got changed a lot in the course of its explanation and I’ve forgotten]. Min moves to hide in a tree [bushes?] nearby in order to eavesdrop while Hathyra and Isabeau blend in with the regular civilians populating the area. Ulmus and BubbbleBubble climb up on a roof while Dwigger heads back towards several establishments nearby to seek a “tvern” which is actually a brothel

*Ulmus, Min, Hathyra and Isabeau watch as the cloaked figures make their way to an abandoned shack in the distance

*Ulmus follows shady figures in squirrel form into the shack

*Hathyra and Isabeau slowly move closer to where Min is attempting to listen outside the door. According to what the occasionally incontinent dragonborn would tell her companion’s after, she heard mention of a “Head of Titans” and that the hermit in the forest was being held captive, his torture for information heavily implied.

*Ulmus, being within the shack as the enemies spoke, witnesses a large and intimidating man remove a set of torture tools and a pouch of gold. Immediately understanding this man to be employing the other two shady figures, Ulmus decides it prudent to follow this figure wherever he may go after the meeting.

*Min darts into the bushes near the shack as the “boss” figure leaves, the other two coming out behind him, one moving to the bush Min hid behind. At the sight of the man unlacing his breeches in order to relieve himself, Min releases her fiery breath, the unsuspecting man screaming in agony as his loins are set aflame.

*As Hathyra and Isabeau attempt to run as nonchalantly as possible towards Min and the screaming man, Dwigger – hearing the screams back at the brothel – makes his way towards the action as well

*Isabeau immediately moves to engage the enemy Min set aflame, her stomach worriedly twisting in discomfort (recalling the strange potion the hermit had her drink) before she felt her sword and shield arms rejuvenated, her sword coming down in righteous fury to viciously slash at the man across his chest. Capitalizing on the bizarre energy surging through her body, she then bashes the man to the ground with her shield, knocking him unconscious

*As the second enemy moves to attack Isabeau and fails in an attempt to drive his dagger between her ribs, Min appears behind him with a devastating sneak attack, repeatedly stabbing and slicing at him as he screams his pain and surprise, Hathyra moving in as well to add her own sword’s edge to the assault

*Charging in with a battle cry, Dwigger raises his war axe high to bring it down upon the assailant’s head but the blow is deflected by the enemy’s helm. However, the heavily bleeding and battered enemy stumbles backwards from the impact, smashing into the shack’s eaves trough and blinding himself with the sludge that erupts outwards

*As his other companions are engaged in battle, Ulmus follows the powerful man to the edges of the forest in the near distance

*In a combined assault, the remaining party members cut down the other two enemies, Isabeau gutting and killing the blinded enemy with her sword as the previously unconscious enemy rises to engage. Dwigger takes minimum damage from the weakened enemy’s attacks but manages to block most, Min moving in to repeatedly pierce the enemy’s flesh between his armor, bringing the man to his knees again. Hathyra ends the scuffle by cleanly slicing off the head of their foe in one fluid movement.

*Ulmus hears Dwiggger’s whistle echo in the air, returning to his companions with the news of the boss’ location in the forest. Before they depart, Min crouches to piss in triumph on the singed and punctured corpse of their enemy [And there was much rejoicing].

*Min quickly checks the pockets of their fallen enemies before the party makes a mad dash for the forest, not wanting to miss their chance at witnessing whatever this suspiciously powerful man was attempting within

*They come to a cropping in the forest, a dozen hooded figures in black surrounding a few incredibly tall people in elegantly brimmed cloaks. Immediately, the companions all recognize the crescent shape on the robes the figures wore

*In the center of it all is a bald-headed figure with tattoos adorning his face, held captive and bounded to a pike in the ground, his blood being drained from his body. They all watch in disgusted awe as the man’s blood is tossed into the flames, the smoke that rises immediately after explosively changing colour

*As the taller figures back up and the smaller ones approach, they all suddenly collapse as if suffocated, the dark silhouette of a menacing figure now appearing in the smoke and flames…


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